


You're My Partner I Can Be Proud Of

by sto_uwu_nky



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drunken Confessions, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24403516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sto_uwu_nky/pseuds/sto_uwu_nky
Summary: You’ll live chasing volleyball your whole life without being perfectly content, cause you're a real troublesome guy.But..Keep moving forward without hesitation.You're my partner that I can be proud of.But when we compete, I’ll take you down.-The words drifted through Oikawa’s mind, nearly taunting him as he stared at the small invitation in his hands. The fancy curved letters seemed to entangle his mind, chaining it to his disbelief.Celebrate the Wedding of Iwaizumi Hajime And Mazuki Maiko.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	You're My Partner I Can Be Proud Of

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crimsonimposter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsonimposter/gifts).



_ -You’ll live chasing volleyball your whole life without being perfectly content, cause you're a real troublesome guy. _

_ But.. _

_ Keep moving forward without hesitation. _

_ You're my partner that I can be proud of. _

_ But when we compete, I’ll take you down.- _

The words drifted through Oikawa’s mind, nearly taunting him as he stared at the small invitation in his hands. The fancy curved letters seemed to entangle his mind, chaining it to his disbelief. 

**_Celebrate the Wedding of Iwaizumi Hajime And Mazuki Maiko._ **

“Mazuki Maiko..” he bitterly chuckled to himself, leaning against the counter. He remembered Iwaizumi telling him about her. They had gone to separate colleges, though they were still within an hour's travel of each other. He had checked his phone one day, the screen filled with spam from the wing spiker. He never thought him to be one to plead or beg, but there he was, asking for love advice. 

Of course, he had thought it was a joke, but when he was sent a picture of a girl, he realized the spiker was being serious. He felt a tug at his heart, assuming it was because he wasn't with his best friend for this memorable moment. The tugging feeling returned less than a week later when he found the two were dating. He tried to brush it off, thinking it was jealousy from possibly being replaced. 

Each post he had liked on Instagram, with Iwaizumi’s arms wrapped around her waist, each story post of the two goofing off, every text sent talking about how smitten he became with her caused his heart to sink further down into his chest. Slowly, he found the image of Iwaizumi unbearable as well. He made excuses to skip out on their weekly meetings. His sister needed help renovating her house, his volleyball team wanted to do an extra hour of practice, he needed to work late, he wasn’t feeling well. Each excuse was met with the other's concern. 

“Are you overworking yourself?” was always a question that hung between them, blocked by Oikawa's assurance that he wasn't. Weekly meetings turned to bi-weekly, then monthly, and soon it was only whenever the other just wanted to check up on the other. He knew Iwaizumi didn’t expect much foul play in it, because he was busy with his new girlfriend, and Oikawa, as always, was chasing volleyball. But here he was, five years later, sitting at his kitchen table with an invitation to his childhood friend's wedding. The gentle tears that ran down his cheeks uncovered his newest discovery. He wasn’t only jealous, more so, he was in love. The beating of his heart seemed to shout at him, love, love, love, mourning over and over through his body. 

She was another person he had lost, but what else could he do? With Tobio or Ushiwaka, he simply poured all his efforts towards training, to beat the two of them, to rise above them and win, and even then, he never did. But what was he supposed to do about Maiko? There was nothing to beat. She had conquered what he wanted well before he knew he wanted it. His eyes burned into the rsvp number, debating on if he wanted to attend or not, though, in the deepest part of his mind, he already knew the answer. 

“Shittykawa.” 

Oikawa smiled as he was called for, turning around to face the groom to be. 

“Iwa-chan, you clean up well,” the setter laughed, his hand resting on his hip. “You should slick your hair back more often~” he teased, the cocky grin of his ace meeting his eyes. 

“Fat chance,” he laughed, his eyes shining. Oikawa had never seen the ace nervous. Not in front of an angry mother, scolding adults, or fateful matches, and yet here he stood, nearly shaking from the uncertainty. “I’m glad you came. Really glad..” he breathed. 

“How was I supposed to turn it down? Especially after being offered to be the best man! Have some faith in me,” the setter cooed, sitting on one of the couches.

“I’ve always trusted you,” Iwaizumi assured, sitting across from him. Oikawa smiled, leaning back against the plush cushions. A comfortable silence fell upon the pair, the room empty besides themselves. He felt the tears pooling in his eyes before he could stop them, a shaky laugh bursting from his lungs as he covered his eyes, digging into them with the palms of his hands.

“Oi, you’re not allowed to cry. At least not yet,” Iwaizumi laughed, though his voice wavered, leaning forward to place a firm hand on his good knee. The simple touch made Oikawa's blood boil with adrenaline. His hairs stood on end as all the emotions he had kept in check for the weekend demanded to be let out. He tears began to streak down his face, a shaky smile coming to his lips. 

“I did the same thing that day to huh..? I can't ever just let things end happily,” he joked, his bottom lip quivering as he once again remembered the day they were defeated. 

_ You’re my partner that I can be proud of. _

Oikawa laughed again, more tears dropping to dampen his suit. He remembered how ecstatic he was to hear Hajime say something so cool, so meaningful. Partner. Proud. He couldn't stop the aching disappointment in his chest at the irony. How could Hajime ever be proud of someone so pathetic? Someone so weak and selfish. He’s only his partner. He was his partner. Nothing more than teammates, a duo that worked so well just because of the years they spent together. Years that Oikawa had spent, harboring feelings and pining after a friend he would never call his. 

“Yeah? Well I’ll kick your ass if you think about making my wedding into a sobfest,” Iwaizumi sniffled, his grin shining through his gentle tears. Oikawa rubbed at his eyes once more, the brown orbs landing on the man in front of him, the man he loved. 

The man that he would do anything for, the man that he should have done something for. His eyes took him in, from the hand still resting against his knee to the way the suit complemented his broad shoulders. His hair, that as handsome as it looked slicked back, he much preferred in its natural spiky state. The love and care that Iwaizumis eyes revealed to him, the pure happiness that shone straight from his soul, and his lips that formed into the ever so cool grin that was signature to the spiker. 

It almost felt like time was slowing from how rapidly his heart rate dropped, a sudden feeling of revelation drawing on Oikawa. He realized, all these years, Iwaizumi had looked at him like that. He never doubted him, never felt betrayed by him. Not when he had accidentally released his favorite beetle back to the wild, not for any of the choices he made as a setter and captain, and not even when the brunette avoided the ace. He realized how much Iwaizumi had done for him. How much Iwaizumi had loved him.

Every loss he went through, he could never let it end without tears. All the defeats Ushiwaka handed to them, and the utter bone-crushing one Tobio had presented, he had always cried, and Iwaizumi was there with him. He knew he couldn’t let that go on. At the very least, he really couldn’t ruin the most important day for his partner. His best friend. 

“Hajime,” he said suddenly, looking him in the eye. “Thank you…

For the countless summer nights you kept me up to catch fireflies,

For saving me from our parents and coaches wrath,

For being shorter than me,

For always keeping me in check when I’m childish or immature

For encouraging me every time I had any doubts in myself

For being like a mom and telling me to sleep at reasonable times,

For never giving up on me and trusting me 100%,

And finally, for allowing someone like me to be influenced by you.”

The rounds of applause from the multiple tables brought a smile to Oikawa's face. The praise wasn’t new, though the context made his suit feel much more stuffy. He grinned at all of the people who had paused their eating and chattering to hear his speech, all of them looking back with smiles of their own. 

His eyes swept to the bride. She really was a beautiful girl, and from the way she held herself and interacted with people, Oikawa knew she fit with Hajime perfectly. The tangles of jealousy and sadness were still locked around his heart, though he found nothing tugged at him anymore. There was no heavy anchor of regret and disappointment weighing him down, he was accepting.

“And to the stunning, and beautiful bride,” he sent a wink to her, “please make sure to take care of yourself and Hajime. His favorite bedtime story is Momotarou and he especially likes it when-” a chorus of laughs, whistles, and Iwaizumis yelling interrupted his thoughts, his own laugh bubbling up when Hajime jabbed him in the side, his blush confirming what Oikawa had said. As he looked around he felt good, better than he felt in a while, knowing no tears would be shed because of him today.

Of course, there's always room for error.

Alone in the hotel room, glasses of wine from the earlier dining just leaving his system, only to be replaced by the newly opened bottle of sake, Oikawa began to feel comfortable around the spiker again. Noogies, hitting, banter, and laughter all filled the atmosphere of the room, the two teetering on the difference of tipsy and drunk. 

“Iwa-chan, I can’t believe you’re married now!” Oikawa whined, flopping back onto the fluffy bed. Iwaizumi chuckled, settling on the edge of his own bed, pouring another glass of sake. 

“Honestly I’m surprised you even came. I thought you might think it was a joke,” he mused, tossing his head back as he downed the alcohol. A pang Oikawa's chest made itself known, the familiar dread peeking out. He wished it was a joke in all honesty. But what was he thinking? Just earlier he knew he felt genuine happiness for Iwaizumi and Maiko, why was he so bitter all of a sudden?

“You’re not even capable of pulling pranks like that Iwa-chan~” he teased, being met with a pillow to the face. “I’m sorry I’m sorry Iwa-chan! I can’t breathe!” he laughed, Iwaizumi grinning as the two wrestled with the pillow before they calmed down again. 

“But… I was surprised,” he admitted quietly, after another span of comfortable silence. “Hajime? My Iwa-chan? Married?” he laughed, shaking his head. “I thought, no, it can’t be true!”

“What, are you jealous?”

There it was. Though the ace had said it with a laugh and a smile on his face, the way Oikawa grimaced and stared at the ceiling for a while longer than he meant to changed the whole atmosphere. 

“Oi, you’re not really jealous are you?” Iwaizumi asked carefully, Oikawa turning his head to him, though his eyes were trained at the area behind him. 

“Me? Jealous of what?” he chuckled, lazily waving his hand to brush off the question. 

“I don’t know. Because I married first?” Iwaizumi shrugged. He could have phrased it jokingly, turned the tune back to the fun and joking one. But for all of Oikawa's insecurities, he seemed to find them the quickest. The question seemed to be serious, Iwaizumis arms crossed as he looked at Oikawa, causing the setter to look away and nearly shrink under his gaze. 

“I’m not jealous of anything,” he lied, not that Iwaizumi needed any reason to doubt that he was. 

“You know, you’re a real shitty person for lying to the groom on his wedding day,” Iwaizumi told him, shaking his head.

Wedding day, wedding day, groom, bride, married, together, wedding, wedding. Something in Oikawa's chest suddenly snapped, as if his heart was shocked with sudden vigor, enough to break and release everything that confined him before.

“Maybe I am a shitty person,” he lulled, sitting up as Iwaizumi looked at him curiously. “Maybe I’m a shitty person for lying to you. Maybe I’m a shitty person for lying to everyone here. Hell, I’m a shitty person for even showing up to this wedding,” he sighed. 

“Oikawa what the hell are you on about-”

“Hajime let me finish,” he said firmly, staring off into the space in front of him, his eyes set. “I am a shitty person. I shouldn’t be here. I didn’t even bother to get to know your girlfriend- No, sorry, wife, before the wedding even though you gave me so many chances to. I started avoiding you, I abandoned you, and then suddenly showed up to your wedding as if we’re still best friends,” he spat, his fingers flexing against the sheets as he started tearing up again. 

His mind begged him to stop. Begged him to just perk up and turn to Hajime, give his signature peace sign, and say  _ just kidding _ ! He wasn’t supposed to cry in front of Iwaizumi tonight. He was supposed to go home, realize he had accepted the man of his dreams was no longer his, and accept that it's okay to still feel sad. He knew all of this. He knew all the symptoms, all the logical reasoning, and he knew of all things, that he had accepted Iwaizumi wasn’t his. But despite all of it, he kept going. 

“I spent three years hiding from you. I cut off connections with you, I left you on read and delivered so many times, I gave you ass replies, and somehow you still find it acceptable to invite me to your wedding, and as the best man!” he laughed, standing up, stumbling slightly. His head was pounding and his balance was off from the mix of alcohol and emotions. 

“And when I rsvped for this wedding, I couldn't even be bothered to tell you the truth! I couldn't even face the truth,” he sobbed, his hand clutching over his heart. “Hajime I-” 

“Would you shut up!” Iwaizumi hissed, rapidly approaching Oikawa. The brunette flinched, curling up on himself slightly, expecting one of the spikers hits, and he really didn't feel like having his head be rattled with the killer headache he was sporting. But instead, he felt his cheek collide with something warm and firm, a feeling of security wrapping around him. He cracked open his eyes to find himself faced with Iwaizumi biceps, the latter’s arms wrapped tightly around him. 

“I don’t know what the hells been going on in your mind today,” he began. His hands were flat and firm against his back, the memories of their comfort action washing over Oikawa. “But it obviously isn’t good. Fuck, you said it yourself, apparently, its been happening for a while now,” he scoffed, resting his head on top of Oikawa’s, sheltering the now shaking man in his hold. 

“I really should kick you out right now for saying all those things. Bashing my wedding, giving me all these reasons to hate you, to feel betrayed and angry at you,” Oikawa flinched, cold fear replacing the hot anger at the idea of truly offending and hurting Iwaizumi. “But I won’t” the spiker said firmly, his grip on Oikawa tightening. 

“At first I was annoyed when you ignored me. I knew you knew that I could just take the train and barge into your apartment anytime I wanted, so why bother ignoring me? Then I.. was hurt. Because maybe you had found another person. A better spiker? Better friend? I didn’t know, but you didn't mention anyone. So maybe, I did something wrong? But I knew I didn't. So I chalked it up to you being annoying and dramatic again. 

But you’ve really got to be a complete idiot to think a little distancing would stop you from being the person who knows me best, and an absolute dumbass to think it’d stop me from being the person who knows you best,” he chided. As he spoke, Oikawa regained his thoughts enough to move, lifting his arms to wrap around Iwaizumi, hiding his face as his tears stained his cheeks and Iwaizumis clothes. 

“What hurt the most was knowing you were struggling and wouldn’t tell me about it..” Iwaizumi admitted, frowning. “I should have gone and checked up on you more often. But I convinced myself you needed space. I guess I was wrong,” he sighed, giving Oikawa's back a pat. “And as stupid as you are, I still won’t abandon you. You’re an idiot but did you really forget that I’d stay with you through anything?” he asked, though the setter was too busy sobbing into his chest to retaliate. 

After years, months, and days passing by, where Oikawa tried his hardest to ignore the man who was cradling him, he only succeeded in forgetting that he would be there for him no matter what. Iwaizumi Hajime was solid, strong, loyal, and reliable, that shone true even through a drunken state. It's why he made such a good ace, vice-captain, person, and probably lover. Not that Oikawa would know about the last option. 

“I.. I always wanted.. To be someone you could be proud of..” the brunette hiccuped, his hands gripping part of Iwaizumi’s shirt. “But I keep running away. I always prepare to face my fears, but when I’m forced to face them, I always fail. I couldn’t lead us to victory, god I can’t even get a victory myself-”

“Jesus Christ Oikawa are you still hung up about that?” Iwaizumi said in disbelief, pulling him away just enough to look him in the eyes. “That was years ago, what are you-”

“No, no Hajime it's not that-” he sniffled, blinking his tears away since he was scared to let go of Iwaizumi. “But.. You told me, all those years ago, that I was a partner you could be proud of.” 

“And you are,” he agreed.

“I don't feel like one,” the ex-captain admitted, casting his gaze downwards. “And I thought… I thought today, I would be. I thought, today I wouldn’t be selfish. I would stop crying every time I lose. But some fucking good that thought did me huh?” he snorted. 

“Lose? Oikawa what did you lose, you’re making no sense-”

“Hajime, I love you.”

The moment the words left his mouth all his strength seemed to leave him. The weight on his shoulders lifted, and his legs struggled to hold his body up. He made a move to let go of Iwaizumi, assuming the latter would do the same so he could sit on the bed, but to his surprise, he held him up. Even when the brunette practically collapsed against him, Iwaizumi had no complaints or issues in keeping him propped up. He let out another laugh, feeling even more pathetic at himself. 

“Not what you were expecting huh? God, I told you that right after you got married,” his voice cracked, hot tears coming back to his eyes. 

“I’m a screw-up and a failure, and now I’m a homewrecker,” he chuckled, resting his head against Iwaizumi’s shoulder. He stared off into space again, fully prepared to ramble all of his thoughts out to the other male, before Iwaizumi gave him a strong squeeze, tears that weren’t his own dropping on to his cheeks. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Iwaizumi said firmly, his voice not wavering in the slightest. The force and sincerity of the statement rammed against Oikawa's chest, as if it knew it would worm its way into his heart. “No matter how many miles or years separate us, I’ll be proud of you. You were my partner. You  _ are _ my partner Tooru. I.. I can’t say I feel the same way about you. But you encouraged me to start dating Maiko, came to my wedding, gave me your support, and let me go so I could be happy… In some sick, dumb way, you gave up yourself for me… and you trusted me enough to share your feelings,” Oikawa looked up only to meet Iwaizumis eyes, full of tears and emotions. “Maybe in another life we were together. I don’t love you romantically.. But I do love you Tooru,” he sighed, giving Oikawa one last squeeze before he let him go.

The setter stumbled back and settled on the edge of the bed, blinking rapidly as he processed what had happened. He knew his heart had broken. Of course Iwaizumi didn't love him romantically, but the verbal confirmation shattered him to his core. And yet, when he cleared his vision of doubt, he saw pieces of a new heart being handed to him. His old self had shattered. The pressure everyone gave him was difficult, but it paled in comparison to the expectations he had for himself. He couldn’t handle it. He had been beaten and broken. And yet as always, Iwaizumi was there, ready to help him back up. As he told him that night, Oikawa would have never been content with anything he’d do. So why should he be content with that? As he looked at the spiker now, who cleaned up the alcohol and went to get dampened rags to clean their faces, he realized Iwaizumi always gave him the chance to be content with himself. The least he could do now was take it.

**Author's Note:**

> I may or may not be debating adding a chapter two for this?? I'm not sure, but I hope you enjoy my first story here! I'd love your feedback!!


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